This is just going to be a personal entry of sorts, and I know I haven't really done much of this but I am going to try to expand myself and be more open. ^^
I had a good talk with Eki last night and something was brought up that I hadn't really thought of much before: talking about me. I mean, me talking about me. I always intended for this blog to be a helpful resource for others and to share what little knowledge or suggestions I have for making others feel more beautiful about themselves. As difficult as it is for a blog to NOT revolve around the creater, I really didn't have that as my intention. It's my hope that I haven't been too standoffish to have created an image of myself that is hard to relate to or quite different from who I really am, so I may as well tell you how I see myself in my little world.
First of all, I hold dearly to my values. I so value love, wisdom, beauty, truth, faith, and hope and these things really drive me to do nearly everything in life. To me, these are not just words. These are my passion, the reason I want to hold my husband everyday and the reason I drive an hour to and from work. I guess when someone accuses me of having one of these values twisted, it can be hurtful but I've been through a lot of criticism in my life to (slowly) learn what to listen to and what to chalk up to someone else's bad day.
On the internet there will always be people who don't take the time to know you. There will always be the haters who dislike you simply for being you, those who are in cliques and copy others to make themselves feel more important, and those who are nice to your face and cruel behind your back. But at the end of the day, there is only you and your effect on others. Can I just put it out there that I am the type of person who just wants to spread love and make others feel better about themselves? I love makeup because it can lift up how you FEEL about yourself, not just how you look. It's not stagnant, like people aren't stagnant. People can change and grow and makeup can reflect the beauty in change. I don't use it as a mask, I use it as a key.
I didn't come from a rich family and I rarely buy things unless they are on sale. We didn't always have money and I've worked hard all my life in jobs, academically and artistically to get scholarships to pay for my college, and obtain a career path that is difficult but makes me feel fulfilled. I feel like I've fought tooth and nail for the "easy" things in my life and I've finally gotten to the point where I do allow myself to buy something that makes me happy, makeup (and occasionally shoes). Nobody ever bought those things for me and I still can't bring myself to splurge on some of the things other bloggers can get, but I am happy in my life.
I always have people ask me about my skin, and I always tell them, my skin is NOT perfect. I promise, I am not one of those bloggers who just say that and aren't being truthful. Go look at my acne post, I suffered with bad acne for over a decade and I still struggle with it. It was very hard for me to put that out there and show my flaws in broad daylight but I thought, someone out there will RELATE to this and it can give them hope. Am I going to take pics of myself when I am badly broken out? Obviously not. Concealer does just that, CONCEALS. Do not let my or any other blogger's photos get you down. We are all real people under our concealer, real people with pores, blackheads, zits, and real feelings.
So this is just my open call to ask you all to hold my hand and stand next to me in this ridiculous blogger world, rather than to lift anyone up to a standard that doesn't exist. Real beauty comes from within, and makeup and clothes are just a means to aid that. My husband compliments me more when I am gross in the morning with no makeup and ratty hair than when I am made up from head to toe. And you know what? I am okay with that.
Have fun, be happy, feel beautiful, and be empathetic to others. If we all did this daily, wouldn't the world be a much nicer place? ;)
I love you all and can't express how grateful I am for having such thoughtful readers. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, if you actually read through all this. I just hope that readers of my blog can hear this and know that this is who I really am underneath. :)